Here you go, sir.
You're looking great today, Mr Hanson.
All right, people, twenty seconds to air.
Fifteen seconds. Where's Lorie?
Five, four, three, two...
Perkell Heating and Cooling brings you He Said, She Said.
Your commentators, Lorraine Bryer and Dan Hanson.
The issue today, Proposition 41, the highway merger.
Good afternoon, Dan.
Proposition 41, on the ballot in October,
would provide for a new connecting spur to merge Highways 710 and 88.
In my view, this merger is long overdue.
It would improve access and boost growth, especially in outlying areas.
I know what you'll say, Dan: Proposition 41 can wait, there's no need for it now.
But in two or three years it will be too late.
We must go forward or we stop. Now is the time.
That's the way I see it.
Lorie, you're over-intellectualising again.
Common sense says we don't need a merger. These roads are working well.
It would just add to spending, traffic and congestion in an already crowded area.
And the outlying areas that you speak of
have reached a plateau where further growth is not expected.
There's nothing wrong with the status quo.
As my Uncle Olaf used to say, "Why fix it, if it ain't broken?"
And that's the way I see it... Ow!
Christ!
Commentators' opinions are not necessarily those of station WBAL.
Excuse me, please. This is it. She's gone too far this time.
- What did you do to her? - What did I do? She went nuts on air!
You must have done something.
You shouldn't make a rebuttal with a blunt object.
Here, you do this, it's too disgusting.
I hope Weller wasn't watching.
It's all right, he's going to be fine. Get back to work. Please.
Emily, find some aspirin.
Look at all those calls, Mr Thurman. Hundreds of them.
Vultures. Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.
Yeah, neither can I.
Wait a minute. They all can't wait till tomorrow.
This could be the best thing ever.
- If we promote this right. - I just spoke to Weller's secretary!
You did?
This could be good. He loves this kind of stuff. What did she say?
- She said he would call. - Did you hear that? She said...
Wait a minute. Weller is going to be calling me? On my phone, personally?
This could be bad, very bad.
He only calls personally if he wants to hurt you. We're screwed.
Wally, sit down, relax. You don't know what he's thinking.
- It may not be that bad. - Not that bad?
Will he still want you after today?
Lorie blew the deal.
Look, I'll find Lorie, I'll talk to her.
What do we say? He's spending a fortune, and you break up on air.
We're not breaking up. This is how me and Lorie are.
We always have been.
Hi, this is Lorie Bryer, I'm with the people section of The Sun.
Yeah.
Hanson. Yes, hello. Thanks for calling me back.
I'm doing the obituary on Professor Hollis.
I was wondering, what time is the wedding...funeral?
Thank you. Does the family have any special requests?
In lieu of flowers. Great. Thanks very much. Bye.
Puce. This is definitely Pulitzer Prize material.
This will turn journalism on its ear.
No small jobs here, Miss Bryer. A newspaper is a daily miracle.
And we're all part of it.
Diana.
You look incredible. It's your hair, you found your cut, right?
Are we still on for Friday?
It's my sister's birthday. Make it Saturday?
Sure, absolutely. No problem. My entire schedule is at your disposal.
Sheila, Sheila.
Can we change Saturday to Friday?
- It's my sister's birthday. - Sure, Dan, I can do that.
Thank you. Thank you.
- You're an angel. - Thanks.
Dan.
- Dan. - Shit.
Dan?
Lousy, self-centred, three-timing jerk.
Scumbag. Oh, God, I fell for it.
Now I find out he's got a girlfriend.
- You all right? - Take my advice, stay away from him.
Never go out with him.
There's no chance of that. I don't go out with cowardly scumbags.
What does everybody see in him? He's not that good-looking.
He thinks he's charming with all this boyish stuff.
And I can't imagine the sex would be any good.
Well...
How many Es in "sleazeball"?
A note is good, but make a much more dramatic point!
- You ought to break something. - Great idea.
One of his models.
No, the Wolfman. That's his favourite, I think.
Oh, no. I couldn't do that.
Have you heard him talk about the Wolfman? It brought tears to my eyes.
Look, just do me a favour, OK?
Next time you see him, you kick his butt for me.
- You got it. - OK.
You... Don't say a word.
- You told her to trash Wolfman. - You deserve it, lying to that poor girl.
Am I responsible for the personality disorders of every girl I go out with?
I told Janet I see other women, I don't lie.
You help old ladies cross the street, too (? )
I happen to have seventeen merit badges.
And by the way, sex with me is very good.
I'm sure.
Why, have you heard something? What have you heard?
Nothing, nothing.
There've been a lot of rumours since Monroe announced his retirement.
So I've decided to give young Mr Hanson here a crack at that column.
Congratulations.
(WHISPERING)
Christ, Ed! I wish you hadn't done that.
Dan...and Miss Bryer, in my office after this meeting.
Technically, the Op-Ed page is Ed's territory.
But I wish he'd told me he'd promised the column to you.
We've decided, in a most Solomon-like fashion, to give you both a shot.
You know the public sculpture story? Good!
Don't imitate Monroe. Use your own style and opinions.
1,500 words on my desk by five o'clock for publication tomorrow.
May the best man win... or the best woman.
- This really sucks. - Tell me about it.
Don't tell me you're done already. Do you think at all, or do you just type?
I don't need to think. Common sense tells me what to say.
Common sense, huh?
Tell you what: I'll wait so we can hand them in together, to give you a fair shot.
So my years at journalism school were a waste of time?
- I'm not a journalist. - I wouldn't brag about it.
- I'm a newspaper man. - Pithy. Dumb, but pithy.
- Listen... - Listen...
Go ahead.
After tomorrow, one of us will never speak to the other again, so I...
How about dinner?
Here you are.
And you, sir.
- To my new column. - The paper isn't out yet.
- Why not take the rest? - I just wanted a taste.
- Dan. - Susan.
Hi.
You look fantastic. Your hair's great. That's you, that's your cut.
Thank you. And for the flowers. You remembered I like 'mums.
You got them, I'm glad. Susan, this is Lorie.
She's...got the cubicle across from me.
I didn't mean to interrupt. Maybe we could get together next week.
Great, call me. But don't change your hair, or the deal is off.
- I won't. Bye-bye. - See you.
- Don't say a word. - I do not believe you, it's amazing.
It's like watching some creeping fungus at work.
Believe it or not, some people enjoy my company.
All I'm saying is, from what I've observed of you and your women,
the level of hurt, outrage and distress you inspire can only be termed massive.
- Does she look hurt to you? - No. In fact, she looked very happy.
But, you know, ignorance is bliss.
I just don't understand women like that. Maybe I'm too cerebral.
- That means brainy. - I know.
You've something on your face, a crumb or dirt or something.
What are you...? Stop.
- So, public sculpture, for or against? - What do you think?
- I was against. - That doesn't surprise me!
They'll print yours anyway. It's a men's club.
- Come on. - Know where I'd like to work?
The New York Times.
At least I could influence people there, even change the way they think.
That's why I want this column.
I don't want to be stuck reporting weddings forever.
Really? I thought all women loved weddings.
You think you can get to me, don't you?
All right, if we're talking in stereotypes,
all women want to get married, and all men fear commitment.
You don't understand. It's not fear.
We don't have a choice, we can't commit.
It's deep inside, an animal instinct that keeps us separate from the pack.
- Right, like your friend the Wolfman. - Exactly.
Perfect example: Wolfman's a source of strength for us guys.
He's strong, aloof, destined to live alone.
He's his own man, his own wolf. He's his own Wolfman.
He knows he can't get close to someone, because when the moon is full...
Bingo! Somebody is gonna get hurt.
So he takes his intimacy where he can, a night here, a night there...
Other women fall for this shit, huh?
It's not shit. I deeply believe in this.
Sounds like an excuse to me.
Sooner or later, even the Wolfman has to choose.
- Ready to order, Miss? - Oh, yes.
I will start with...
...monogamy, then commitment...
...and then I will have the marriage.
(WAITER) The marriage comes with commitment.
Unless you'd like something on the side.
Oh, no, not me. But maybe children later.
Good choice, ma'am.
- The monogamy is good here. - And you, sir?
Just a side order of sex, please.
Sorry, sir, it only comes with commitment.
I'll make it easy for you. I'll take the complete dinner.
Hold the commitment and monogamy, bring me the sex, and we're all happy.
- You don't want monogamy? - Can't you read the sign?
Do you need more time to decide?
I hear the ravioli here is great.
Yeah, sure. Ravioli sounds fine.
When I'm editor, I'll give you another chance.
When you're editor, I'll be long gone. Don't feel sorry for me.
- Oh, shit! - What's wrong?
My contact, it popped out. God, I'm always doing this.
Hang on. I'm excellent at this. I have an uncanny power. Watch.
Attention, everybody, please! Nobody move!
My friend has just lost a contact lens. So everybody just stop!
Just look down and...
(CRUNCH!)
Oh, boy.
Was that it?
I don't know, I can't see.
We've got it.
Thanks. Thank you.
I'm really sorry.
How am I going to drive? I'll have to read my column with one eye.
What?
- I'm sorry. It's just... - What?
...funny. Don't you think it's funny?
Hey, that's stealing.
Wait, I just want to say, before we look,
whatever happens, I had a good time tonight.
OK.
- I don't believe it. - Goddammit!
This is not fair. Only one of us was supposed to win.
- It was mine in the first place. - It's nice of them to...
- Nice? - It's me who should be upset.
Listen, buster. The only reason they ran yours at all is because...
...you have a penis.
Well, why didn't you show them yours?
Hey, forget it. I had a terrible time tonight.
- Dan, good job. You showed her. - What do you mean? She's right.
Did we read the same column?
- Hey, Phil. The usual. - You got it.
You gonna stare at me all night, or are you gonna buy me a drink?
And one of whatever this young lady's having.
- You're the literary type, huh? - Depends. What type do you like?
Oh, men about your height. Men about your size.
- But we must work on the clothes. - What's wrong with them?
They're on.
I've missed you. How was Paris?
Wet. You should have been there.
Oh, Linda. How about we get out of here?
Hold on, big boy, I want my drink.
So who's the girl? You two a team?
Oh, God, no. They wouldn't do that.
It's a one-shot deal.
- I'll never have to work with her again. - Good.
That's what we decided. We'll start with three columns a week.
I think we've got something here. People love a good fight.
- That's a great line for an ad. - All right.
Next job: there's a new dance thing at the Royal.
- The pornographic thing. - There's a brief tasteful nude scene.
- You've seen it? - No, but...
- Is this knee-jerk liberalism? - What about you?
Do it.
(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)
- That shouldn't be allowed. - Who are you to say?
I'm an average person. If it offends me, it would most people.
- Let people decide for themselves. - I just give the facts.
You call what you write the facts?
Boiling down complex issues into pithy epigrams from your Uncle Olaf.
Wait a second. Leave my Uncle Olaf out of this.
Give me a break. He's a cheap literary invention. He doesn't even exist.
My uncle is not cheap. I'll prove he exists. What shall we bet?
I will bet you a drink.
- You're on. - OK.
He's not home.
He has a new girlfriend.
-Tuesday night is polka night. - Really?
- I'll have a gin and tonic. - He's just not home.
- Do you want to dance? - I don't dance.
I'll have a gin and tonic.
(JAZZ)
You're really good.
Oh, God.
I know this guy. He's an incredible drag.
He's always coming on to me.
If he comes over and asks to dance, will you dance with me, please?
Lorie... Hi, it's me, Steve.
I haven't seen you here in ages. You looked great out there.
Excuse me, we were...
Would you like to dance? I miss the way we move together.
Sorry, buddy, she's dancing with me.
- Thanks. - It's OK.
- What's wrong? - I don't know.
Look...
I wanted to say the other night that...
...most girls' eyes don't sparkle when they take their contacts out.
But yours do... I couldn't say that, because it'd sound stupid,
and you'd think I was chasing you, and I didn't want you to, because...
...because I was chasing you.
If you set out to confuse me, you could've done a better job. I would...
...really like to kiss you again, but...
...not if you're going to laugh at me.
I won't laugh at you.
- Do you want to...? - Yes.
Mr Hanson.
Must be Wednesday. Big order day, right?
Setting 'em up for the weekend? You must spend half your salary here.
- I'm not complaining, though. - Actually, Lou, just one order today.
- What? Only one? - Yeah, let's see...
...roses, or maybe Birds of Paradise.
(LOU) It all depends on the desired effect.
(LOU) Breaking the ice, sexual overture...
Not...love?
Please, Mr Hanson...
Tell me it's not love.
No.
- I don't know. - You know what love is?
It's a time bomb, waiting to go off. Believe me.
That's why God made other women.
No matter how good any one woman might be...
...there's always another one around the corner that could be even better.
- You OK? - I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm OK.
4.15, morning terrors. It's OK.
Take some deep breaths and come back to bed.
- Come on. - You never take this seriously.
Doesn't this ever happen to you?
You wake up and don't feel real...
You feel you're not living the life you're supposed to be living.
Like all your choices are wrong?
You're just tired.
No, I'm not tired. You don't understand.
I don't love you.
I mean... I've known you longer than any other woman in my life, but...
...I shouldn't be in bed with somebody I don't love.
Do you know how often you've woken up at 4.15 with deep insights?
Yeah.
And they're always right.
What are you saying?
I know who I should be with.
And I only want to go to bed with her.
I'm sorry, Linda.
Dan...
You know this woman, the one you're dumping me for?
She isn't worth it.
- Hi. - Hi.
How long have you been here?
A while.
I brought you some orange juice and doughnuts.
But I ate the doughnuts.
Look...
I only want to be with you, and I don't want you to be with anyone else but me.
Please say something.
(DAN) And that's how it began.
Wait a minute, back up. This Linda, is this Linda Metzger?
- You slept with her? - You know her?
Of course. I tried to sleep with her all through college.
- How did you meet? - Well...
Hold on, which life story do you want?
I made a promo for tomorrow's show. It's great.
Hey, Dan, how's the head? She got you pretty good, huh?
I slowed it down and transferred it. You can see the lettering on the mug.
As my Uncle Olaf used to say, "Why fix it, if it ain't broken?"
And that's the way I see it... Ow!
You never know what's going to be tossed around on He Said, She Said.
See Hanson and Bryer, Round Two, tomorrow at noon on Channel 11.
- The way it spins around... - I think I gotta lie down again.
Mr Thurman, it's him. Bill Weller on one.
Jesus.
Hello, this is Wallace Thurman, station manager at WBAL.
It's a pleasure to be speaking to you directly.
Hanson and Bryer. No problem, sir. Just a moment.
He wants you and Lorie on the speakerphone.
Put him on, I'll improvise.
One problem: I've never used the speakerphone.
- Thanks. - Who's there?
Hello, this is Dan Hanson. I'm here with Wally Thurman.
- And this is Ray, our technical director. - Lorie Bryer is in the bathroom.
Can't be helped, I guess. Let me cut to the chase.
- I'm buying your crummy little show. - We know, sir...
That stunt you pulled, Hanson, you and Miss Bryer...
(HE LAUGHS )
That was pure magic for enhancing ratings.
I don't care if you hate each other or if you faked it.
You just milk this situation for every nickel it's worth.
We're excited that you're excited.
- I'm not excited, I'm greedy. - Greed is good.
I'm greedy and determined.
To make sure it goes well, I'll be there for tomorrow's show.
Don't screw up.
- Come back, it was a mistake... - He's gone.
What...? Oh.
Come on.
This is ridiculous.
Lorie... Lorie, honey. Come on, open up.
Lorie, what's going on?
Lorie, I know you're in there. Please, honey, talk to me.
I brought you some of Rita's 'slaw.
- Take it away. - Come on.
- I hate it. - I thought you liked it.
- I was just being polite. - For three years?
- Go away. - What? I live here!
Not any more.
How's your head?
It hurts, it's bleeding. I might need stitches.
I'm sorry, I just couldn't take it any more.
Looking up at your fat, smug face, I couldn't help myself.
Thanks, honey. That's quite an apology.
Why is my stuff in the hall? What does it mean?
It means it took this whole TV thing,
the show and its success and what it's done to us...
...to make me realise that we want different things.
I've always known that, but...
...I kept thinking that some day it would get easier...
...but I don't think you're ever going to change.
Wait a minute. Things are going great for us.
We can't split over one fight. There's too much at stake.
Honey, please. I don't want it to be over.
You used to like me the way I was.
I still do.
I love you.
But I need more from you.
Well, I just don't know what else I can give you.
Well...
Is that Rita's coleslaw?
- Yeah. Do you want it? - Yeah.
- Hold on, I'll bring it down. - Thank you. I appreciate it.
Here...
I'll give you a dollar. It's only fair.
- And come on in. You look like shit. - OK. Thanks.
Oh, so there he is.
- Hi, Mrs Spepk. - Sit down.
- I'll get something for your head. -Thanks...
...but a bump is not the problem.
I know what the problem is.
You see, in my day, young people got married before they slept together.
Bullshit. We slept together before we were married.
We did not. And you didn't marry for love back then, either.
- Love came later. - I'm still waiting.
Well, thank you very much, Mrs Spepk, Mr Spepk. But I've really got to go.
You've done it this time, she wants me to change the locks.
What?! You're kidding. She asked you to do that?
You won't be breaking any more windows.
- What do you mean? - Remember the window you broke?
- Yes, but I didn't break it. - You did, don't you remember?
I did not break that window. Lorie did.
- Wake up. - What are you doing?
We have to get out. The room is flooding.
- It's not flooding. - I got you a raincoat.
Thanks. You're sleeping. Come on, let's go back to bed.
- We have to leave. - I know, we will...
But not right now. I'll call a cab, a gondola.
When you wake up, he'll be here. OK?
- All right. - Good.
Don't forget your raincoat.
No, I won't. Just go to sleep now.
No, I do not sleepwalk. Other people would have told me.
- You're not my first overnight guest. - Did the windows break themselves?
- Pick-up for Hanson. - Two pastramis on rye?
That's it.
Hey, you're that guy. I've seen your picture.
And you. You two... No! Get outta here.
Rita, come see who's here.
I've got to get a picture for my wall of fame.
- Rita. - I heard you before, Pop.
Look who's here. It's the people who argue.
And guess what? They're in love.
Wow. It's really nice to meet you. I love your column.
- Thank you. - Hold these up for the camera.
Step back over there. Hold 'em up real nice and high.
Smile big. Yeah.
Wait a minute. Look at that. Hold this.
Hey, look what I got!
You're beautiful!
- Hey. - What?
I love you.
I'm not telling you this to get the exact same response from you.
I feel very warmly towards you,
and I think it's great...
...that you're not asking me to be exactly where you are right now.
OK, I only know your side of the story, I haven't treated Lorie yet,
but I know you well enough to know...
...that any concerns that she has about you are justified.
Verbalisation's the key here.
In order to achieve a mature, empathic resonance with your partner,
you've got to share your feelings.
I know, that's why I'm here.
Now. We have had tremendous results...
...real breakthroughs...
...with these.
Eric, that's a puppet.
My clients express their feelings without becoming too vulnerable.
- We call them emotional surrogates. - Uh-huh...
I love you, Dan.
I love you.
- Come on, you try. - I really don't want to.
Come on.
- I feel ridiculous. - Come on.
I can't.
God.
Dan.
It's OK, honey. I'm OK.
Dan?
I think I'd like some cheesecake.
What?
I think you could use some, too.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
- I could definitely use some. - OK.
You're not going to remember any of this, are you?
Lorie? I love you.
I'm crazy about you. Don't ever leave me, please.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I'll go get us some cheesecake.
I just want to warn you.
Daddy won't approve of you, but Mom is sweet, very sweet.
It's so great that you're taking time off to come.
I wanted to meet them, it's time I did.
Why? What does that mean?
Nothing. I mean it's just about time I met them.
- That's all. - Don't be nervous.
They're very normal. They're the most normal family in the world.
You just can't discuss birth control out of its political context.
I use a diaphragm. That doesn't make me a capitalist, or a socialist.
Diaphragms are threatening. They give women power.
I've used condoms all my life. I'm not ashamed of it. How about you, Dan?
- Do you use condoms? - Well, actually, it kind of depends.
He's got condom written all over him.
What does your father do, Dan?
- I think they're too old for that. - I meant for a living.
- Oh, he's retired. - Independently wealthy, huh?
No, just old. I was a late kid. A surprise.
You like children, Dan?
- Yeah. I mean, yeah. Well, yeah... - Where's Wendy?
Oh, she read Dan's abortion article and decided she couldn't eat with him.
- That's rude. - I don't think so.
- What about capital punishment, Dan? - This isn't the time...
All right. He's for capital punishment, he voted for Reagan twice.
He makes slightly more than me for the same job,
and we usually use a Sheik Elite with a reservoir tip.
- Anything else? - We're just getting to know him.
It's not like we're getting married or anything, is it?
No. I mean, no.
I mean no. No.
Good morning. Welcome to A.M. Baltimore.
Our guests today are Dan Hanson and Lorie Bryer,
two columnists from The Baltimore Sun,
whose competing columns have caused quite a stir.
Good morning. Were you surprised by the success of your columns?
- Well, no, actually... - I...
Sorry, go ahead.
I wonder if people would notice what we were saying...
...if they were normal editorials, without this competition thing.
We're getting read, that's the important thing. We make people think.
Maybe. But is it what we say, or is it just a gimmick?
Do you two ever stop arguing?
Tell us if this is right... We've heard that you two are living together.
Well, I'd rather not go into that.
Not yet. Let me put it that way.
Isn't that great?
Why did that upset you so much?
What is this "not yet" stuff?
We've talked about moving in.
No. I have been talking about it, you have been ignoring me.
Does that mean you want to move in?
Well, we need to talk about it.
That is such prime Dan Hanson material.
Do we talk about it at home alone,
or in front of 500,000 people we don't know?
Come on. That show doesn't get 500,000 viewers, does it?
You're impossible. lmpossible.
Excuse me, sorry to interrupt.
I'm Wally Thurman, the station manager.
- Hi. - You two are both terrific.
- Thank you. - Terrific together.
As a team.
Have you ever considered being on TV regularly?
- Yes. No. - No. Yes.
Well, actually, we do talk about it,
we feel it's a natural evolution of what we've been doing.
Stand by, please. Five, four, three, two, one.
- Hi. I'm Dan Hanson. - And I'm Lorie Bryer.
- This is He Said... - ...She Said.
Today's issue is garbage. Our dumps will be full in 10 years, what then?
Some people feel it's the government's responsibility, and maybe they're right.
But as my Uncle Olaf says, "You make the trash, you take it out."
And that's the way I see it.
- You were great. - No, you were.
You even made me look good.
Let's do it. Let's move in together.
# Blah, blah, blah, blah, moon Blah, blah, blah above
# Blah, blah, blah, blah, croon Blah, blah, blah, blah, love
# Tra la la la, tra la la la, Merry month of May
# Tra la la la, tra la la la, 'neath the clouds of grey
# Blah, blah, blah, your hair,
# Blah, blah, blah, your eyes
# Blah, blah, blah, blah, care
# Blah, blah, blah, blah, skies
# Tra la la la, tra la la la la, Cottage for two
# Tra la la la la, Darling, with you. #
Hey, Larry.
(THEY WHISTLE TO EACH OTHER)
I'll consider this relationship a success when you clean your coffee cup.
- What shall we do today? - I don't know...
I thought we'd stay in.
Hey, Dan!
- Hey, guys. - Three on three in the park.
Yeah.
Actually, I'm just going to stay in today. Thanks.
- Oh, man, let's go. - What a baby!
Oh, hi, Dan. How are you today?
I'm fine... but I'm gonna stay in.
Linda?
Dan, hurry up. Come on, you're missing the party.
I'll be right down.
You know...
...l definitely think we should stay in today.
Whatever you say.
I didn't change enough? Oh, come on. I changed everything in my life for her.
You're better off.
The things I could have done if I didn't have to come home to her.
- What things? - How should I know, I didn't do them.
All right. You, enough of this.
You go up there right now.
Take her in your arms and tell her you love her.
No, it's too late, Mrs Spepk. This is it. It's over.
- Dan, you can't be serious. - Mr Spepk...
Here's my keys. Tell Lorie there's no need to change the locks.
Here, take this.
Thanks.
- Hi, Dan. - Hi.
- Are you OK? - Yeah.
- Wally called. He told me all about it. - Wow! News travels fast.
Boy, you look great. It's really good to see you.
- Maybe we shouldn't sit here. - Why?
What's the difference? Never mind.
- So you know Wally? - Yes. He's been chasing me forever.
- Almost as long as you. - I never chased you.
You never had to.
Wally asked me to try to get you and Lorie back together.
- What did you say? - I said I'd try real hard, for the show.
One problem: the show is not available any more.
- So you are, right? - They don't want me single.
I'm not as picky.
- Got a place to stay? - Well, actually...
My company put me in a suite hotel.
I have a sofa and an extra room.
- I'd love you to stay with me. - Dan.
- Oh, Mark, hi. - How's the wound?
It's...OK.
Yeah.
Well, I've got to get back, so...
See you.
- So what happened this morning? - All right. I was in the green room...
- Why is this called the green room? - I don't know.
Probably some theatrical tradition.
Something to do with Shakespeare or something.
- Oh, Christ, Lorie. - What?
Your cup. Your goddamned cup.
So...
...have you heard from Linda?
You know, or you wouldn't ask. Did you read her letter?
No. It wasn't addressed to me.
- Is that what's bothering you? - It just seems strange.
She leaves town. She sends us both Christmas cards and postcards.
So a letter addressed just to you made me wonder.
Why is this bothering you now? We're on top of the world.
OK. She is coming into town.
I mean, she's here, in fact.
- Have you seen her? - No, I have not.
As a matter of fact, if you want to, we'll have drinks with her today.
- Weren't you going to tell me? - Honey, I just did.
- God, Dan. Sometimes, I swear... - What's the matter with you?
How can you be jealous after so long?
Apparently I still have reason to be.
You were going to see her and not tell me.
I was going to see her, not sleep with her.
I'm not saying you planned to, but by not inviting me,
you leave yourself the margin for error where accidents can happen.
- You're still diddling around. - I don't diddle.
I'm not going to bed with her. We may share a salad, that's all.
- I want to get married. - What?
You accuse me of cheating on you, now you want to marry me.
- Don't you ever think about it? - Yes. I just don't know what I think.
I feel I've really grown in the last three years, and you've stood still.
No, that's not what's going on here. You are so afraid of being hurt...
...you're making a demand I can't meet, pushing me!
- Is that what you want? - You just don't get it.
I know you're scared of taking this step. I am, too.
But that's the great thing, you see? We could be scared together.
Look, I just... I want to be sure of you.
And if that means I'm a little insecure or neurotic, well, so be it.
I just want to know that if I'm on air with you five years from now,
it's because you love me, not because I'm your business partner.
Well, I do.
I do. Come on.
Come on...
You don't want to get married.
No, Dan, you don't want to. Let me hear you say it.
- Time, please. - Hey, Mark.
Yeah.
Settle an argument. Why do they call this the green room?
I don't know.
See you in there.
I'm sorry, but...
...I don't want to get married.
- Coming through. Watch it. - Lorie. Fifteen seconds to air.
I said now.
Places, everybody.
Quiet, please.
Five, four, three, two...
Perkell Heating and Cooling brings you He Said, She Said.
With your commentators Lorraine Bryer and Dan Hanson.
The issue today: Proposition 41, the highway merger.
Good afternoon, Dan.
Proposition 41, on the ballot in October,
provides for a new connecting spur to merge Highways 710 and 88.
In my view, this merger is long overdue.
It would improve access and allow for maximum growth,
especially in the outlying areas.
I know what you'll say, Dan.
That Proposition 41 can wait, that there's no need for it now.
But in two or three years, it will be too late.
We must go forward...or we stop.
Now is the time.
And that's the way I see it.
Well, Lorie, there you go, over-intellectualising again.
Common sense tells us a merger simply is not needed.
These highways function well independently, thank you.
A merger would only mean increased spending,
traffic and congestion in an already crowded area.
And those outlying areas have reached a plateau
where further growth is just not expected.
There's nothing wrong with the status quo, Lorie.
As my Uncle Olaf used to say, "Why fix it, if it ain't broken?"
That's the way I see it... Ow!
Lorie.
- Are you all right? - Of course I am. Of course.
- I'm fine. - Sure?
Yeah. I'm fine, Mark. Don't worry about me. I'll be all right.
My keys are inside. My purse. My whole life is inside.
- OK, I'll... - I'm not going back in.
- All right. - Do you think I hurt him? Who cares?
I'm going to walk home. I feel so good, that's what I'll do.
Lorie, I...
- Give me a ride home? - Sure, you could use it.
- Where do these go? - It all goes in the hall.
The lousy records, the toys, the models.
- What about this? - No. I want that.
You've known me a long time, Cindy. I'm a rational person, aren't I?
- Yeah, somewhat. - I mean, I'm not crazy.
But at some point you have to say:
"Yes, we go forward," or "No, we made a big mistake."
I feel great, I really do.
- Stop it. - Come on.
I'm not going to let you do this to yourself, or your VCR.
He's not worth it. You didn't need him to start with.
You could have your own show.
That's just it. I never wanted a TV show. I don't even watch TV.
The New York Times loved my work.
I'm gonna call them back, I'll find the number.
To think I let him detour me from my original purpose.
It's three years gone, but I'm still reasonably young, right?
Has it really been three years?
All the time I wasted overlooking all those rotten things.
You remember, Cindy. It was obvious right from the start.
We've decided, in a very Solomon-like manner, to try you both.
You've both been following this public sculpture thing?
- Oh, yeah. - You don't have to imitate Monroe.
Use your own style, your own opinions.
1,500 words on my desk by five o'clock.
And may the best man win. Or the best woman.
Listen...
After tomorrow, one of us will probably never speak to the other again. So...
...how about dinner?
Shocking as this may sound, I'd like to, unfortunately I have a date.
Well, it's not actually a date, it's more like an obligation. Sorry.
Thank you.
- Guess what. - What?
- Guess. - What?
They're printing the New Republic piece.
That's great, the one about the Sandinistas? Terrific.
- I brought a copy for you to see. - Oh, I'd love to. Great!
- No, I... - What? The lead's no good?
- It takes too long to start? - We're doing it again.
We are relating to each other as writers and political colleagues.
We are not relating to each other as a woman and a man.
Adam...
Look...
What I wanted to say...
I don't think we should see each other any more.
It's not sexual or exciting between us any more.
I think that it was, once, but it's just not there any more.
- This is hard to say... - It's hard to listen to.
I know...and I'm sorry.
Look, I'm not a complete moron. I sort of saw this coming.
- But I don't think it's all my fault. - I'm not saying it is.
Well...
Maybe two cerebral people just shouldn't be together.
I gotta go.
- No, don't go. - I prefer it, if you don't mind.
See you.
Wow, that was a fast date!
- Looks like we can't avoid each other. - Maybe it's fate.
- The signora is ordering dinner? - Caesar salad's great here.
- No, I'm... - Come on.
All right, I'll have a Caesar salad. And a gin and tonic.
- I'll have the same again. - Fine. Enjoy your meal.
We had a fight.
Well, actually we didn't.
We didn't have a fight... We broke up.
I don't know why I'm telling you this.
I'm really sorry.
- Who broke it off? - I did.
Sometimes that's the more painful position.
It's always easier to love than be loved.
Hurting someone feels worse than being hurt.
God knows, I'm always terrified to give bad news to a woman.
Maybe that's weak, I don't know.
Yeah.
So, how do you know so much?
Believe me, I've been there.
- Dan! - Susan, hi.
Excuse me.
You look fantastic. That dress is...
That's your colour, that is you.
Thanks. And thank you for the flowers. So beautiful!
Oh, you got them, good.
- Let's get together next week. - Sounds good.
- Be sure to wear that dress. - I will.
Oh, shit, my tit popped out, I hate it when that happens, don't you?
- Bye. - See you later.
Classy, with a capital K.
And you. Look at you, Mr Smooth.
I can't believe I was letting myself get sucked into this rap of yours.
"It's better to love than to be loved."
This... You were coming on to me.
- This was a pass. - You call that a pass?
Men are all alike. You don't take us seriously.
No, wait. I was just thinking.
Was that a pass?
Oh, my God, you're right.
That was a pass. I'm sorry.
But what was I supposed to do? There you were...
...vulnerable, attractive...
Oh, darn it.
Darn it, there I go again, you see?
I'm out of control, I can't stop myself.
Anyway...I'm through with all of you for a while.
Other things are more important to me right now.
- Like what? - The chance to say something.
To reach people. What every journalist wants. To work...
...at The New York Times.
For now, I'll settle for this column.
My column! I'm gonna make up a plate for you.
- No, don't. - It's like eating with a shark.
- OK? A little pasta. - Sauce.
- Salad. - Tomato.
OK? Have fun.
To my column.
The paper doesn't come out for another couple of hours.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Oh, hi, Cindy.
Yes, I know, isn't it great? Oh, thank you.
Don't you think it's kind of a minor victory, though, having his printed, too?
You're right, reactionary writing like his will only make me look better.
No, I just got in.
Why, did you try calling earlier?
Adam... Oh.
God... No, that was hours ago.
Well, I was...
Actually, I was having dinner with Mr Reactionary himself.
Well, yeah. He did crush my contact lens, but it was OK.
Yeah. Well, no. Actually, I...
I had a good time.
No! Don't worry, this is a one-shot deal.
I won't let him spin his web around me.
(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)
Hi, Lorie, I haven't seen you here in ages. Want to dance?
Good, but could you tone it down just a little?
OK, next slow song, the guy over there... Don't look.
- What was your name? - Steve.
Steve. OK, thanks. Here's the five bucks.
- No need to pay me. - Keep it anyway.
Could you just button up your shirt? Thank you.
Hi.
- Great music. - Oh, it's fantastic.
What are you looking at?
I know that guy. He is such a drag.
He's always chasing me. If he asks me to dance, will you dance with me?
- I... Look, you know... - Lorie.
It's me, Steve.
I haven't seen you in a long, long time. You look great.
- Hi, I'm Dan. - Wait. Would you like to dance?
I miss the way we move together.
Sorry, but I have this dance.
- Thanks, you saved me. - No sweat.
Well...
- Well... - Listen, I had fun.
Goodnight.
What's wrong?
I don't want to have to play games and flirt and all that shit any more.
What I'm trying to say is... you're a good guy.
Your politics are screwed up, you're not a great writer,
but you're not a psycho and you're cute, in a way.
Don't you ever get lonely?
I know you have a lot of women, but don't you just get...
...lonely anyway?
And scared?
Like your whole life is going by, and your days and your nights.
Nobody's around to see it, except you.
I would just... I would just like to be with you, tonight.
You're shaking.
Don't say you haven't done this before.
Not with you.
(DAN SINGS IN SHOWER) # Do you want to dance
# And hold my hand?
# Tell me, baby I'm your loving man
# Oh, baby Do you want to dance?
# We could dance Under the moonlight
# Kiss me, baby All through the night
# Baby, do you want to dance?
# If you want to dance Take this chance
# C'mon, pretty baby And make romance
# Oh, baby... #
Will you, Olga, have this man, Olaf, to be your husband?
To live with him in marriage, according to the word of God?
Yes, I do.
I now pronounce them husband and wife.
You owe me a drink.
What God has put together let no one put asunder.
I'm so pleased you're here today.
There's a Swedish saying... how does it go?
(SHE SPEAKS SWEDISH)
Which translates loosely to:
"Happiness is easy, if you just take off your overcoat."
Well, today, I took off my overcoat.
But enough speeches. Let's do the chicken dance.
- May I have this dance? - I'd love to.
Oh, this is hunky-dory.
- Want to dance? - No.
- Come on. - I mean, there's just... No, because...
What's so funny?
- Hey... - What?
I love you.
I'm not telling you this so that I'll get the exact same response from you.
I'm just telling you because these are my feelings.
If you can't express your feelings, what's the point of having them?
And I feel really good about telling you this.
You really don't have to say anything in response.
Really, you don't have to.
Here you go, sweetie.
Thank you.
He probably doesn't even remember.
He always forgets the details.
All he remembers is the end result.
I remember every moment we spent together.
All the little things.
Like when I fixed his carburettor. He was so impressed.
Or when he broke the window. You had to call the repairman.
The window, what window? Oh, yes, I remember.
I'm sure he doesn't.
Well, enough of this.
From now on, no more looking back.
Do you think that guy at The New York Times remembers me?
Next week, I could have a new job.
I think his number is still in my Rolodex, back at the...
...studio.
Along with my car, my whole life.
- What shall I do with these? - In the box with the files.
Thank you, Mark. You're saving my life.
You never know what's going to be tossed around on He Said, She Said.
See Hanson and Bryer, round two, tomorrow at noon on Channel 11.
Wally, what the hell is going on with these commercials?
I can't talk right now. He'll tell you all about it.
Yeah. Do what you can. Gotta go. Bye.
- Lorie, Lorie... - Wally, Wally.
You are advertising a show that is not going to be on.
Take it easy. Look at these messages: "Good for Lorie." "It's about time!"
You're a hero. Most women would love to do that to their husbands.
I don't want to be a hero. And he is not my husband.
The last thing he will ever be is my husband. Understand that?
Totally. But they all want to see what you'll do tomorrow.
Weller wants to see. That's why he's coming.
Then he's going to see a lot of nothing, OK? Because, it's... Well...
It's over, all right? Dan and l, we... We broke up.
My God.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
But you can still do the show. It might be more interesting.
I can't believe you, Wally, you're such a man.
Thanks.
How can you separate love and work like that?
Well...love is love...work is work.
Love...work.
Work isn't love. Love shouldn't be...
- All right. - Look, I'll make it easy for you.
We'll tape his half before you arrive. You needn't even see him.
I'm through, Wally.
All right, look...
I didn't want to say this, but you've still got a contract.
I'm no good at being tough, but the lawyers will eat you alive.
- Thanks, Wally, you're some friend. - Please.
- Linda Metzger is on line 1. - Not now. I'll call her back.
Linda Metzger?
- Is she calling here for Dan now? - No, for me. We go way back.
She's nothing, she's always chasing me. A fatal attraction.
She may be nothing to you, but just her name makes me want to...
Oh, Linda.
- What? - What?
- What did you just say? - I said...
I said, "Oh, Linda." I'm very sorry.
That's all right.
- I'm sorry. - No, I see how it could happen.
We're both women, our names begin with 'L'.
- You're sleeping with both of us. - Not any more.
- When did you stop? - When I started going out with you.
Started? Well, what does that mean? Did you...?
- Did you do it after you slept with me? - I... I can't remember.
You can't remember?
Think, think, Dan.
Was there somebody else in your bed with you, who wasn't me?
I don't know, I'm sure we probably did once.
All right, twice.
What am I supposed to feel bad about?
That the minute you and I touched, my other involvements didn't melt away?
Not all your involvements.
Just all your sexual involvements.
What is the big deal?
From the moment I went to bed with you,
sleeping with another man became unthinkable to me.
But for you, sleeping with another woman remained...thinkable.
That was in the beginning.
Let's talk about now. You're the one who...
- The one who what? - The one who I'm with now.
Isn't that what counts?
- I want to meet her. - You really think that's a good idea?
I want to meet her.
I've been working on our new Fall Line. I brought the catalogue.
You should take a look. I'm sure we could find you...
...something that would be flattering.
- Honey? - What?
- We have this little thing with our food. - Dan.
Don't be embarrassed. Dan tells me everything.
I'm sure you know most of his secrets by now, too.
- Well. - Well, maybe not all of them.
(LAUGH ECHOES)
We lost our virginity together.
We were fourteen, just kids.
- But even then he was incredible. - Well.
Don't you think so?
Over the years, I've kept a diary of our favourite sexual positions.
- Oh, neat. - Just a few notes and some drawings.
- Would you like to see them? - Honey?
What do you say?
- Here's one. March 17th, 1980. - Whoops!
- You remember? - Yes, the kitchen.
Right.
You can see from the drawing just where to put the blender.
Oh, Linda.
I think this one would be just cute on you.
Honey, you OK?
Why don't you just have sex and get it over with?
I think I'm just going to get out of here.
What kind of stunt is this?
Seeing you together, there seemed to be no room for me.
- That's unfair. You wanted to meet her. - Yes, I realise that, but...
If you can be that way with someone else, I can't be with you right now.
Stand by, please.
Don't be nervous, it's just an audition tape.
If it's bad, we throw it out. But I know you guys will be great.
Wait a minute, Wally. This isn't the copy I wrote.
We had to trim it. We don't have much time to make our point.
Boom-boom, and next commercial!
I thought that we would be writing. It's an opinion show, after all.
- You will, once you get the knack. - It's just an audition to see how we look.
- Right. - What difference does it make?
- Don't blow this for us. - I'm not, it's just...
- You wanna know the secret? - What?
- Just smile big and pretty. - You're gonna be great.
- Here we go. - I gotta go.
Wow, it's true, the camera really does add weight.
Eight, seven, six...
I think there's a spot on your dress.
- Hi, I'm Dan Hanson. - AND I'M LORIE BRYER.
- And this is He Said... - ...SHE SAID.
Stop tape, please.
Lorie...
Lorie, it's going great. But this isn't a game show.
- Try smiling a little less. - But she said...
The make-up lady has guided many great careers.
The enthusiasm is wonderful, just not quite so many teeth.
Otherwise I'm thrilled. Let's go again...
- You're doing it on purpose. - I'm just nervous.
- Where's this spot? - It's on your left boob.
- Hi, I'm Dan Hanson. - And I'm Lorie Bryer.
- And this is He Said... - ...She Said.
Our issue of the day is garbage.
Our dumps will be full in ten years, and what then?
A lot of people feel it's the government's responsibility.
Maybe they're right. But as my Uncle Olaf used to say,
"You make the trash, you take it out."
What's she doing? Stop tape, please.
- Honey, we're both on camera. - I'm sorry.
- If you don't want this, just say! - I did, if you recall.
I'm doing the best I can.
- Can we try again? - Why do we always do what you want?
What? I spent my vacation visiting your parents, I'm always at your place.
- Don't you want to be? - Yes, I just feel like a stranger.
- That's just your attitude. - There's nowhere for my stuff.
- Move your exercycle. - Unbelievable.
What about your man things all over the place?
- Man things? - Your big shoes and 3-D map.
And you're the only man in North America who still wears pyjamas.
Hold it.
Why don't we take a short break and then try it again?
Good.
I didn't mean to look like a retard.
Hey, it's no big deal.
We've got the best jobs in Baltimore.
So television doesn't want us. It's television's loss.
You know you drag me out here, you scare me to death.
And just when I think I have every reason to be mad at you...
...that's when you're the nicest.
You know all my tricks.
Come on.
- I was so awful... - No, you weren't.
I was terrible. I could've died.
- Lorie? - What?
Honey, let's do it. Let's move in together. What do you say?
Well, guys, we went over the tape, and, believe it or not, it looked great.
What do you say?
I say yes.
- You were crazy to say we were good. - What did you want, the truth?
It's a beautiful story. You should be grateful, I helped you.
Well, now there are other people you can help, Wally.
This can't be happening. Work with me, God.
Lorie, I'm begging you.
- Bye, boss. See you tomorrow. - And you, Judas.
You may not have a job tomorrow.
I may not have a job tomorrow.
Please!
Wait, wait. Come back.
Forget about Wally.
You look a little ragged. I don't mind helping you.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Stop the car. Back up.
- What's the matter? - Just...
- God. - What?
Shit, of all the restaurants. Look at that jerk!
And at our table, too.
God.
Lorie, stop torturing yourself. Come on, let me take you home.
No.
Mark, could you be a pal and do me a really big favour?
What?
Well?
He's going to go to her hotel.
He's... He's gonna spend the night with her.
To hell with him! To hell with her!
- No, wait. - What?
- We're going over there. - Lorie!
The next thing I know, whack! I actually saw stars.
- We've a right to eat in a public place. - ...seriously injured, I could sue!
- We'll have lunch. - The Caesar's great.
- Maybe he'll choke. - There's blood pouring from my head.
- She storms out, all hell breaks loose... - Dan...
- What? - She's right over there. By the door.
- Hi, I didn't know you were here! - She's got some nerve.
Jerk! The corpse of our relationship not even cold.
OK, I can do this, too.
- May we join you? - Come on over.
- OK. - Sure.
Linda, how nice to see you... Sit.
Linda, you remember Mark.
- So, here we are. - Yes, aren't we, though.
Isn't it great that we can all get together, so soon after our break-up?
Did Dan tell you, Linda? We broke up.
Of course, he tells you everything.
- I think it's great you can be so adult. - Thank you.
You've bounced back, too. Four hours and here we are, right on schedule.
I had a choice: sit in my office and wallow, or keep my date with Linda.
- Why don't we go someplace else? - No, I love this place.
Dan and I had our first date here. At this very table, in fact.
- Do you remember, Dan? - Yes, but I wouldn't call it a date.
She ate my dinner and insulted me.
- I should've known. - It's for the best, now we're free.
Free to pursue our careers, other people,
though I didn't think you'd start so soon.
There's nothing going on here.
Of course not, Dan would never... You flirtatious ass.
You haven't changed since I first saw you.
- How could you even think...? - You followed me here.
I wasn't following you. And who's at our table?
- Whose fat butt is at our table? - Dan...
- It's not our table any more. - Whose fault is that?
- Let's go. - No, stay.
- You're both self-destructive. - I agree.
- Shut up. - We should go.
- Leave her out of this. - I'd love to leave her out of it.
Dan, are you all right?
Come on. This way.
Some people say the news is not entertainment.
They might think again if they'd been watching station WBAL in Baltimore.
- On an opinion show... - Come here.
Commentator Lorraine Bryer was more forceful than usual...
...and threw a coffee cup at Dan Hanson,
who is reported in stable but confused condition.
The small station was flooded with calls about what will happen tomorrow.
- I'm glad you don't drink coffee. - I drink hot tea.
My God, we made E.T. That is so great.
Lorie is going to hate this. I wonder if she saw it.
- What does it matter? - It may be for the best.
I know. You're right. I mean, I'm glad it's over.
I don't need to be hit in the head. Not three times, anyway.
Wow, that perfume is...
So...
What do you think?
Should we go to bed together?
l... I can't sleep here, I don't have my pyjamas.
I don't think you're going to need them.
Part of me wants to, but I can't.
Dan, you've changed a lot.
But I think I have, too.
We've always had a lot of laughs and good sex.
Maybe we're ready for something more.
I think I am.
Oh, Linda. I'm sorry.
Dan, go home and get your pyjamas.
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Hi.
I didn't have my pyjamas, or anywhere to wear them since you kicked me out.
- I thought you were staying with Linda. - No.
Oh.
I don't think it's a good idea for you to stay here.
Where would you suggest I stay?
- What about a hotel? - It's late, I don't want to.
All right, you can sleep on the couch.
But just for tonight.
- Don't think, because you're here... - Believe me, I won't.
Thanks.
I have to write my copy. Did the lawyer call you?
Yeah.
- One more show, huh? - Yeah.
Well...
- I guess it's for the best. - Definitely.
Well...
- Night. - Goodnight.
- Dan. - It's OK, honey, I'm all right.
Dan.
- I think I'd like some cheesecake. - What?
I think you could use some, too.
You're right, I could definitely use some cheesecake.
OK.
You're not going to remember any of this, are you?
Lorie, I love you.
I'm crazy about you.
Don't ever leave me, please.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I'll go get us some cheesecake.
- And that's the way I see it. - OK. Stop tape, that's it.
Mr Weller.
Well, Miss Bryer.
I understand it's not going to work out for us.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
I watched the taping just now.
It's not the same without both of you there.
You know...l realised, standing out there watching,
exactly why I love your show so much.
It's not the issues, not the social significance,
but it's because there's always this possibility...
...that your wife, your husband, your girlfriend, whatever...
...will do exactly what you did yesterday.
It's what makes life interesting.
Stand by, please.
Seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one.
Now, Perkell Heating and Cooling...
- I'm sorry, sir. Very sorry. - Me, too. They were a nice couple.
Today's topic: the Mayor's Council on Mental Wellbeing.
Good afternoon.
Before I begin today, I would like to apologise to the viewing public
for my irrational and inappropriate behaviour on yesterday's show.
I would also like to clear something up
concerning the proposed highway merger.
I would just like to say that...
...my opponent is right.
The merger is not needed.
Some things are just not meant to be.
You think you can make them go in the same direction...
...but all you get is...
...congestion and increased traffic and...hurt.
The highways should be allowed to run their course.
I would also like to say:
Dan, wherever you are...
Look, I cleaned my cup.
Cut to the logo, start Dan's tape. Oh, man...
Poor Lorie.
Good afternoon. Before I begin my rebuttal, Lorie,
I'd like to make a statement about the highway merger discussed yesterday.
I would like to go on record as reversing my original opinion.
The highways are ripe for a merger.
This proposal will ensure the future growth that is sorely needed.
As my Uncle Olaf used to...
No.
I'm not going to say that any more. It's not my Uncle Olaf talking, Lorie...
It's me.
And what I'm saying is that...
...I would like another chance.
I just don't want to be apart from you.
And that's the way I see it.
Does this mean...?
Pretty scary, huh?
Yeah.
God, my contact came out again.
- Hold on, I'll find it. - No, you'll crush it again.
- I never crushed it. - Yes, you did.
See, magic.
So what do you think about the Mayor's Council?
- What do you think I think? - I knew it.
You want this on the air?
No, Ray. Some things are more important than a TV show.
Even I understand that. These kids deserve their privacy.
They don't need their relationship exploited so that we can...
Camera 1, get on Dan. Camera 2, zoom in on Lorie.
- I guess she won that one. - What do you mean? He won.
What's the use of even talking to you. You're an old fool.
That makes you a Mrs Fool.